Tips for Elevator Pitch

You should always give your recommendation at the start only.

Here are 9 Tips for Creating Your Powerful Elevator Speech.

1. In your opening sentence, make it very clear who you work with. A suggested format is, "I work with target market who ..." For example, "I work with self-employed professionals and coaches who ..." If the person you're talking with is a member of your target market, they will immediately be intrigued. If they are not part of your target market, then depending on what you say next, they will most likely think of friends and colleagues who could use your services.
2. Describe the biggest problem you solve for your target market. Your solution should be short and punchy. A suggested formula is, "I work withtarget market who has (describe problem). For example, "I work with self-employed professionals and coaches who are struggling to sell their services." I am suggesting you focus on a problem you can solve as opposed to an aspiration or a desire the potential client has. People will act more quickly and pay more money to solve problems than they will to have their aspirations or desires managed. However, if you do want to focus on aspirations and desires, just replace problem with aspirations/desires.
3. When you get the response, "that sounds really interesting, tell me more," resist telling the person anything about your solution, your process or how you go about doing what you do. It is far, far too early for this information to be given, and if you give it now, you'll lose their interest. Nobody cares about your solution unless they know first that you can solve a problem. People do not buy the process — they buy the end result. So when they say, "tell me more," respond with some major key results your clients will receive. My own example is, "The people I work with find the selling process a lot easier, a lot less stressful and, as a result, they consistently get more clients."
4. Remember that most people tend to think of stereotypical images of various professions. When I say "lawyer" to you, what comes to mind? When I say "accountant", what comes to mind? Also, if I was to say I was a lawyer or an accountant, would your natural reaction be to say, "tell me more?" To avoid being labelled with stereotypical perceptions, do not put a label in your Elevator Speech. Another label to avoid is the name of your company. No one cares at this stage.
5. Remove jargon from your Elevator Speech. Check to see that you are using simple, conversational words. Simplicity is the key. Your Elevator Speech is what you say to everyone. Everyone is either a potential client or knows of a potential client. Everyone needs to understand what you're saying in layman's terms.
6. Remember it's all about them, not you. Hence check to see that you only mention "I" once. The one time you can use it is at the beginning when you say, "I work with target market."
7. Practice, practice, practice. Practice saying your Elevator Speech until it becomes an automatic and natural response to the question: "What do you do?"
8. You're in the business of helping people solve problems. You're a big problem solver. It is your purpose, your moral obligation to help as many people as possible. See this, know this and let your passion and enthusiasm shine through. It's not just the words in your Elevator Speech that will have an impact but it's also the passion and enthusiasm with which you convey the words that will positively influence your potential clients. Being passionate and enthusiastic about helping people solve their problems is very magnetic to people. They will naturally want to know more.
9. Test, tweak, test, tweak, test, tweak, and test your Elevator Speech.Test for the verbal responses like, "Tell me more" "Wow that sounds really interesting." Also test for non-verbal responses. Is the person opening their eyes, looking at you more intently or leaning towards you? You will know and feel when you have a powerful Elevator speech.

Source http://www.salesconversation.com/issue2.html